Time is Running Out

Disclamer: The pills shown in the video are simple antibiotics which had expired so I used them for the sake of art. The drink is actually whiskey, and trying to bare in mind all the criticisms of the last video, I wasn’t actually drinking it, I was just pretending to.

Our generation is a confused generation; we are bombarded with millions of news, developments, changes, life-changing decisions, everyday and in contrast to what many of our elders believe, I think we might be one of the most politically involved generations with the most critical thought and financial awareness that the world has seen for many years in young people (with exceptions of course).

There are, however, a few issues that remain unresolved, as maybe we have focused too much on “survival of the fittest” issues. We have become competitive, sharp, efficient and we have learned to adapt and to cope in order to succeed during those difficult financial times, but maybe in the process we have forgotten to pay attention not only to our fellow men and women, but to our selfs, our needs, our problems.

We have too much expectations and we are too easy to judge people. We no longer have the time to look beneath the surface or make an effort to empathise, let alone to sympathise. We expect people to have fun, to always think that they “always live once”, but to still hold it together up to the point that it is socially acceptable. We should simply accept that people might not be okay sometimes, and that is totally normal, it is not weak and it is not pathetic. It is normal, because we are no gods, and instead of trying to play gods, judging anyone that crosses paths with us, we should maybe be trying to see behind their actions. Maybe that way we’d actually get to help some people, and trust me it doesn’t take much effort to help someone.

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Kung Fu

Dear readers,

This is a video I am very proud of, since it took a lot of effort in planning, filming and editing; but besides the technical effort  put into it there was also a lot of emotion from my part. This video is not trying to portray a woman in a leotard dancing and being sexual for no reason, rather than the embodiment of a woman who spends her days living up to the standards of the society (being beautiful) but in the end she is still left empty, looking for something she cannot find.

I’ve heard a lot of criticism and controversial opinions about it, including the words “awfully sexy” and “provocative”. I initially got offended and upset that people could not appreciate and recognise my efforts and my artistic side. I was even told that I might lose my chance of getting into an Ivy League because of that video, or lose a job. After careful thinking I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t offended by the people saying those things to me. I was offended by the double-standards set by the society. The fact that no-one would bat an eye if i was dancing on the beach with nothing but a revealing bikini but it’s too offensive wearing a leotard, or biting your lips. I am angry that women are forced to suppress their sexuality, as if it is something bad and offensive. Especially when it comes to art.

This video was an attempt to share my emotions with the world, not through words, but through art, and we all know very well that an equivalent video by a male would not cause ANY controversy whatsoever. If i’m going to lose opportunities in my life because people cannot accept who I am then so be it. I am proud of my body, I am proud of my art, and I am proud of my personality, so I don’t want to be a part of a society stuck in the past.

Bullying Exists in College,

…and it can have a more serious impact


What is it all about

We all know that high school can be a time of excitement, happiness and pretty much discovering a lot of aspects of ones’ self, as it is a highly transitional period, but a lot of kids experience high school as traumatic because, unfortunately, bullying has grown to be a huge and very often occurring issue in modern times.

Although this is a very important topic, this article is not going to discuss that. The focus of this article is bullying in College.

People enter college in early adulthood, when most of them have pretty much formed an adequate self-image; some of them might have low self esteem or confidence and might be feeling uncomfortable with their image but most of them enter college with the assumption that since they are going to be surrounded by adults there is going to be a general climate of acceptance, regardless of how they look, or how they think they look. Honestly, I wish this was the case, but due to certain personal experience, sadly, I realized that it is not, and while bullying in high school is a terrible experience, bullying in college can have direct consequences on somebody’s future.

This could make a great research paper or dissertation, but since this is a blog I am going to try to pass my message through narrating how I experienced it and the impact it had on me, hoping it is going to help young people copy with it by viewing it through my perspective.

My Story


I am currently in my senior year in College, for those of you who haven’t read my bio or previous posts, I am majoring in Psychology, so the topic of stigmatizing, and generally psychologically attacking people, is a very important issue for me. As a senior I felt it was really important to engage in things that matter and that can make a difference, even on a small scale, because it seemed to me that studying and being a good student is not enough for me in order to develop into the person that I want to develop.
Subsequently, since last year I’ve been researching for ways through I could offer any skills or knowledge that I may have to people who would be interested in that.
In that context I decided to run for the student governing body of one of the societies of my college. After voting procedures I was assigned a position in that society, which I was extremely happy about since I really believed that me and the rest of the group could reach out to people and raise awareness of certain issues. What I didn’t know back then is that people, for whatever reason, find it very fascinating to talk behind peoples’ backs and saying things about you that have no basis, without even stopping for a second to consider what kind of psychological impact that might have on a person.

I don’t really hang out with many people from College, not because I don’t like them, just because I was always very concentrated in attending my courses, doing my job, studying, and I also spend a lot of time at school with my boyfriend so I don’t really know many people. Thus, you can understand that it came as a surprise to me when I learned that people who I have no idea who they are have been talking about me, spreading rumors that could have serious impact on my future.I was blamed from members of this society about things that did not even make sense, and although they seemed to be very supportive when I came out and expressed my indignation about people making up things, and I told them about how this has made me feel horrible about myself and led me to hold myself accountable for things I didn’t do, they still went ahead and spread more rumors blaming me for even more things that I haven’t done.
I continued doing my job in this society, without being aware at that time about the things being said behind my back, until I was publicly humiliated at my workplace, in front of my co-workers and my boss because I said I couldn’t change my work hours (since we have a stable schedule). I never thought that, as an adult, I would have to spend 15 minutes crying in the bathroom but turns out THAT HAPPENED. FUN!

After this I realized that I had really lost myself. I was not in the mood to go to College anymore, I felt guilty for things that I haven’t done, I felt that people were looking at me and judging me, and honestly I just wanted to crawl under my blanket and cry all day. I came to the conclusion that this atmosphere was impacting my mental health much more than it should, and although I am not a quitter, I decided that I would never be able to make the difference that I want next to that kind of people. So I quit, and for the first time in months I felt like I am getting myself back. That was when I called the ONE friend that I had within this society, who experienced bullying as well from the same people and I did nothing about it  because I was too afraid of conflict. People said that I was after another persons position while actually the person who spread that rumor was the one who was pushing in order for me to get that position when I honestly did not care about it.
I don’t like things being said behind people’s backs so i let that person know that I know what he/she said about me and that I am not interested in giving any continuation to this issue, I just wanted out of the society in order to continue my life next to people that really care about me. The result was that person yelling to me in front of my professor, and another 15 minutes of crying in the bathroom.

I don’t care about what people say anymore, I have the texts to prove who said what, but I am not interested. I just consider unacceptable the fact that I got bullied in front of my professor and my boss. It made me very vulnerable, and I spent some very hard hours contemplating on what had happened but it led me to some very important realizations.

Conclusion


First of all, if people speak about you behind your back it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. In fact it is probably the opposite. Just think that it is college and you don’t have to be friends with everyone, all you need to do is to focus on your studies and how to help yourself do the best that you can do.

You matter the most, and don’t let anyone make you doubt that. You don’t need to listen to anything that people have to say about you unless they are people who care about you and all they want is to help you improve. Your mental health is what matters the most and you don’t need to sacrifice it for any shallow person who is willing to bring you down. Protecting yourself should be your number one priority, and do not show them weakness like I did.

My point is that unfortunately we are going to encounter that kind of people in our life and we must find ways to deal with them without becoming depressed. Just think that a person who acts against someone without thinking that he might be putting that person’s job or academic life at stake maybe needs more help than you can imagine.

Turn your back on people who want you to compromise yourself and be who they want you to be.

Follow the link bellow to read 5 facts about bullying in College: https://www.verywell.com/facts-about-college-bullying-460487

The Passing

I am generally against all this hypocrisy surrounding a death, where usually people who didn’t know the deceased, or barely knew him, appear to be so devastated, when in reality they would have taken it harder if their dog died. When a person dies that doesn’t make him/her a saint and nobody has to pretend as if he/she lived life as an angel, or try super hard to find a memory with that person to cry about.
I don’t like or support that mentality…IN GENERAL…but recently when a person passed, although I’ve never met her myself, but I know people who had, and have, a very dear space in their hearts about her. This girl was a little bit older than me and she had cancer. While she did her chemo-therapies, trying to battle cancer every way she could, she chose not to give up on life. She chose to not only battle cancer, but also the stigmatization that surrounds it, as most illnesses, especially fatal.

This girl, was a fellow blogger, and although she had days which were terrible she chose to write about it, share her experiences, and how being ill didn’t make her less of a person. She was a university student, a blogger, and a very loved person by many. She tried to show the way to anyone who needed help, trying to pass along the message that being ill doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life. She always tried to not leave a day pass without being able to say that she had at least one beautiful moment.

Like I mentioned above, I’ve never met her, but I was reading her blog and since I myself am battling certain health issues, maybe not fatal, but still challenging, it was a huge relief seeing someone so young and brave not giving a damn about whether someone would feel pity, she did not pity her self at all and by her stance, none did anyone else!!! Just going out her doing her thing and trying to help people view life the same way. And trust me it is not hypocritical at all when I say that since I’ve learned about her passing there hasn’t been a day that I didn’t thought about what a great loss the world just experienced.

I deeply hope that more people will choose to follow her example even without her there and learn to appreciate life, however that is given to us!

Revolver

Καθόταν στο σκληρό παρκέ και δεν μπορούσε να πάρει ανάσα. Αυτό ήταν το μόνο που μπορούσε να θυμηθεί απο εκείνο το βράδυ.

Όταν ξύπνησε δεν αναγνώρισε το μέρος στο οποίο βρισκόταν. Οι τοίχοι ηταν γκρι αλλα μάλλον κάποτε ήταν άσπροι, και μπορούσε να διακρίνει διάσπαρτους καφέ λεκέδες εδώ και εκεί. Ένιωσε ένα έντονο τσούξιμο στους καρπούς της και της πήρε αρκετή ώρα να προσαρμόσει τα δεδομένα που βρισκόταν γύρω της.

Πρώτον, στο δωμάτιο ήταν μόνη της, δεύτερον ήταν ξαπλωμένη στο πάτωμα και τα χέρια της ήταν σφιχτά δεμένα σε ενα καλοριφέρ, και τρίτον δεν υπήρχε τίποτα στο δωμάτιο, κανένα έπιπλο, κανένα σημείο ζωής.

Τότε άρχισαν να παρέρχονται στο μυαλό της ένα ένα τα γεγονότα της προηγούμενης βραδιάς. Το ταϊλανδέζικο φαγητο που παρήγγειλε μαζι με τον πατέρα της, το πως έριξε το κρασί της πάνω στο άσπρο και ακριβό φόρεμα της όταν η πόρτα άνοιξε απότομα και τρεις μεγαλόσωμοι και οπλισμένοι άντρες βίαια μπήκαν στο λοφτ τους χωρίς καμία εξήγηση. Τον πατέρα της που της φώναζε να φύγει απο το δωμάτιο, τους άντρες να ξεστομίζουν βρισιές και να μιλάνε έντονα για λεφτα, την ένταση της συζήτησης να ανεβαίνει όλο και περισσότερο, τον ένα απο αυτούς να τραβάει ένα περίστροφο απο την εσωτερική τσέπη του ατσαλάκωτου σακακιού του, το όπλο να στρέφεται προς το μέρος της, απειλές για τη ζωη της αν ο πατέρας της δεν είχε τα λεφτά τους, ο ήχος της σκανδάλης, το σώμα του πατέρα της να μπαίνει προστατευτικά μπροστά της, αίμα να ποτίζει τα μαλλιά και τη μπλούζα της, αίμα στο πάτωμα, στον τοίχο, το σώμα του πατέρα της να πέφτει και τα μάτια του να την κοιτάνε για μια τελευταία φορά.

Για αυτο ηταν στο πάτωμα και εκείνη, για αυτό δεν μπορούσε να αναπνεύσει, μάλλον θα έκλαιγε και ας μη το θυμόταν. Την νάρκωσαν και την εφέραν στο δωμάτιο, αυτό υποψιαζόταν τουλάχιστον.

Ήθελε να κλάψει πάλι αλλά δεν θα τη βοηθούσε σε κάτι. Τα συναισθήματα της όμως ήταν πολύ έντονα και πολυ αρνητικά και δεν κατάφερνε να τα διαχειριστεί. Ήθελε να νοιώσει οποιοδήποτε άλλο είδος πόνου εκτός απο αυτο που την κατάπινε. Χωρίς να το καταλάβει δάγκωνε το κάτω χείλος της, τόσο δυνατά που είχε αρχίσει να ματώνει, και όσο πιο πολυ μάτωνε τοσο πιο δυνατά το δάγκωνε. Το αίμα έσταξε στο πάτωμα και το κοίταξε με μίσος. Δεν ήθελε να ξαναδεί αίμα.

Κάποια στιγμή κοιμήθηκε και όταν ξύπνησε είχε μπροστά της μια ποπ Τάρτ με γεύση φράουλα την οποία δεν άγγιξε. Ειχε χάσει τις ώρες γιατι το δωμάτιο δεν είχε παράθυρο παρά μόνο έναν αεραγωγό. Πονούσαν τα χείλη της αλλά δεν την ένοιαζε. Ποτέ δεν έβλεπε το πρόσωπο εκείνου που της έφερνε φαγητό και νερό και ούτε της μίλαγε. Της έλειπε ο μπαμπάς της, οι φίλες της, η ζωή της.

Πάντα είχε ότι ήθελε εκτός απο τη μητέρα της που μετα το διαζύγιο ήταν πάντα απών. Όσο ήταν σε εκείνο το δωμάτιο σκέφτηκε πολλές φορές αν άξιζε αυτο που της συνέβη. Αν η αυταρχική συμπεριφορά της στους γύρω της όλα αυτα τα χρόνια και η αδυναμία της να είναι εκει συναισθηματικά για τους άλλους την οδήγησε σε αυτο το δωμάτιο. Αλλά δεν είχε βλάψει ποτέ κανένα, δεν της άξιζε αυτό. Σε αυτό το συμπέρασμα κατέληγε κάθε φορα που έκανε τέτοιες σκέψεις.

Μετά απο κάποιες μέρες έκλαιγε πολύ. Σκεφτόταν όλους όσους ήξερε και αν κανένας απ αυτούς θα ειχε παρατηρήσει οτι έλειπε. Αν η αστυνομία ειχε βρει το πτώμα του πατέρα της, η αν ήταν ακομα εκεί. Αν η μαμά της την είχε ψάξει, αν είχε στεναχωρεθεί για τον πατέρα της και αν είχε ανησυχήσει για την κόρη της.

Όταν την έβγαλαν απο το δωμάτιο της είχαν καλύψει τα μάτια και την είχαν βάλλει σε ένα αμάξι. Θυμόταν οτι ήταν πολυ ώρα εκει μέσα και οτι την ενοχλούσε η μυρωδιά απο τα δερμάτινα καθίσματα. Ίσως και να την ενοχλούσε η δίκη της μυρωδιά. Δεν ήθελε να ασχοληθεί.

Όταν την έβγαλαν απ το αυτοκίνητο και της ελευθέρωσαν τα μάτια είδε σε απόσταση τη μητέρα της να κλαίει και έναν άντρα να πλησιάζει με ένα μεγάλο σάκο. Σκέφτηκε πως σίγουρα θα ειχε λεφτά μέσα. Τα συναισθήματα της ήταν μπερδεμένα. Ήταν χαρούμενη που έβλεπε την μητέρα της, ήταν σοκαρισμένη και επίσης δεν ήξερε γιατι η μαμά της ήταν εκει. Επειδη την αγαπούσε ;

Οταν η μητέρα της την έπιασε επιτέλους στα χέρια της την αγκάλιασε και ξέσπασε σε κλάμματα, αλλα δεν είπε τίποτα. Καμια απ τις δυο δεν είπε τίποτα. Κάθισαν στο αυτοκίνητο και κατευθύνθηκαν προς το σπίτι της μητέρας της.

“Και τώρα τι;” κατάφερε να πει εκείνη μετά απο αρκετή ώρα.

“Καταλαβαίνω οτι η συνθήκες είναι άσχημες, και καταλαβαίνω οτι δεν ήμουν η καλύτερη μητέρα εδώ και πολλά χρόνια.. αλλά πραγματικά μετά απο κάποιο σημείο, όταν ήξερα οτι ειχα ήδη χάσει τόσα απ τη ζωή σου, παρόλο που κατάλαβα το λάθος μου δεν μπορούσα να σε προσεγγίσω. Ειναι δειλό το ξέρω, αλλά δεν μπορούσα. Τωρα λοιπόν ήρθε η ώρα να ειμαι η μαμά σου. Να σε βοηθήσω να σηκωθείς, να είμαι δίπλα σου, να σε δω να προχωράς και να γίνω η γιαγιά των παιδιών σου. Ίσως τα καταφέρω καλύτερα μαζι τους τωρα που ξερω πως θα πρέπε να ειχα ζήσει τη ζωή μου. Θα με αφήσεις ;”

Εκείνη σκέφτηκε για λίγο. Ήξερε οτι θα ήταν διστακτική αρκετά, ίσως και απόμακρη αλλα ήταν η μητέρα της. Μια ζωη περίμενε να ακούσει αυτα τα λόγια και τωρα που τα ειχε ακούσει φαινόντουσαν πραγματικά αυθεντικά. Καθώς σκεφτόταν δάγκωσε καταλάθως τα χείλη της και συνοφρυώθηκε απο το τσούξιμο. Αλλα γρήγορα της πέρασε, χαμογέλασε αμυδρά, και απάντησε…”Ναι…μαμά”.

It’s not a coinsidence that humans cannot relate to the worst possible scenarios in life. We are simply unable to even consider something horrible happening to us. But horrible things happen everyday and it’s up to you to protect yourself, your children, your loved ones. It’s important for young people to know that this whole “YOLO” philosophy is the biggest stupidity ever invented and it’s one reason to be ashamed of the generation I belong to.
Yes, yes… I know it sounds tempting and brave and charming, but think about it; really think about it. This phrase “You only live once”, is absolutely true; we only get one chance and it’s stupid to risk our lives when all we have to do to protect ourselves sometimes is small things and little compromises.
I generally don’t like to talk nonsense without getting around to a point, so I am going to tell you a story which hopefully will make you realise why I am in the mood to write something so mellow and “conservative” as some would say…Here goes:

I am a quiet person. Of course I have a good sense of humour and a very loving heart but I am overall a quiet person. I am a family man and that’s the way I love my life. I have a 22 year old daughter from my previous marriage and two young boys from my current one and I have origins from Paros where I have a house and I go every year with my family (usually my wife and the boys because my daughter usually has courses when I can get time off for vacation). That was the plan for this year as well, and that is what happened, until I experienced a life changing event, both for me and my family.
It was afternoon and I was relaxing at my balcony with my family overlooking the street a little down bellow our garage door and far away the sea. The road outside our house is the one continuous and main road that goes all around Paros, therefore you have to cross it to go to many central and popular beaches or villages. While I was looking at my kids’ smiling faces and did not have a care in the world I heard this deafening sound and saw a huge truck abruptly stoping right outside our garage door accompanied with screams and a lot of noise. My first instinct was to run and see what happened, my second instinct when I saw it in front of me was to help.
Two Italian 18 year old girls on a motorcycle had lost control of it and crushed on the truck which run over one of them. The girl was covered in blood and not wanting to be more graphic I am going to spare you the details, but it was not pretty. I immediately called an ambulance and the police. The other girl wasn’t hurt besides some scratches but she was in sock, sitting on the steps of our houses’ entrance, not talking, not flinching, almost not breathing. I went next to the other girl which was still alive, breathing but not talking and obviously in a huge amount of pain. She looked like she wanted to say something but she couldn’t.
She died in my arms before the ambulance arrived. The truck hit the brakes as soon as he saw what was coming but the girl driving the bike could not return it to its normal course so she fell on it. I don’t want to imagine the life of the girl who didn’t die but lost her friend from now on. I do not want to imagine the life of the truck driver who without even doing anything wrong will have nightmares for the rest of his life and might even quit his job and never drive the truck again; and I don’t wanna imagine their lives from now on because I was the one who tried to save her, I had no responsibility in what happened but I still see her face and how much in pain she was everyday before I go to sleep. So yes, I don’t want to imagine how ugly it might be for the people who actually have responsibility for what happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is illegal to rent motorcycles to 18 year olds, who probably did not have a licence for it anyway, but people do it anyway because COME ON, NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN TO THEM. That’s the same thing that the 18 year olds who rent them think.
It is illegal not to wear a helmet, but a lot of people don’t because they think COME ON, NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN TO ME.
The man in the story is actually my father and this happened to him during their vacation in Paros this summer and not only it stigmatised him but all of us; even me and I wasn’t even there.
I am taking this as a lesson to be extra careful when driving, and extra careful in life in general. Everyone wants to live wild and free but nobody actually wants to lose their life because of stupidity. It’s not a shame to take care of ourselves or the people we love. It’s not gonna make us any less interesting. It is just going to give us more chances to live longer and therefore have more experiences with our loved ones and grow old to tell our children about this stupid “YOLO” philosophy that their parents had when they were little.

Be cautious, you have nothing to lose.

Παντα και Ποτε

Ήμουν καθισμένη αναπαυτικά στην καρέκλα του γραφείου μου, δίπλα στο παραθυρό μου, μύριζε βροχή, κοιτούσα την οθόνη του υπολογιστή μου και άκουγα τις φωνές των γειτονικών σπιτιών. Αναρωτιόμουν αν έχουν παρόμοια προβλήματα με εμένα, γιατί οκ, όλοι έχουν προβλήματα, ειδικά τη σήμερων ημέρα. Ήθελα κάτι να γράψω, κάτι που να διαφέρει, κάτι που να έχει σημασία. Είναι πολύ ωραίο να έχεις τη δική σου ιστοσελίδα, και να ανεβάζεις όμορφα βίντεο, άρθρα με άποψη, τη φωτογραφική σου δουλειά, για την οποία είσαι πολύ περήφανη γιατί στο κάτω κάτω δεν είναι παρα ένα χόμπι, αλλά ένα χόμπι στο οποίο είσαι καλή, δεν παύουν όμως όλα αυτά τα πράγματα να είναι μια προσεγμένη εικόνα, φιλτραρισμένη και λεπτομερώς καθαρισμένη απο οποιοδήποτε ίχνος προσωπικότητας που ίσως να μην ήθελες να μοιραστείς. Και όσο καλό και αν είναι όλο αυτό το impression management, όπως πολύ σωστά το έθεσε ο Erving Goffman, υπάρχουν στιγμές που θέλεις λίγο να γυμνώσεις την ψυχή σου, κατα κάποιο τρόπο. Αφού είσαι που είσαι ένα σπασμένο βάζο, θες να σταματήσεις για λίγο να κρύβεις τις ρωγμές, και να αφήσεις να δουν μέσα σου, αφού το βάζο ειναι έτσι κ’ αλλιώς σε κοινή θέα.

Δεν θα μιλήσω για τον εαυτό μου και τις ιδιαιτερότητες μου, όλοι τις έχουμε σε μικρό ή σε μεγάλο βαθμό, και ούτε θέλω να παινευτώ αλλά είμαι σίγουρα ένας άνθρωπος με προβλήματα εμπιστοσύνης που έχουν συσσωρευτεί με τα χρόνια, όπως η μούχλα στους τοίχους ενός πολύ παλιού σπιτιού, όταν όμως αγαπάω κάποιον δεν υπάρχει κάτι που δεν θα έκανα για εκείνον/εκείνη.

Πολύς κόσμος θέλει να πιστεύει ότι όταν κάποιος φύγει όλα είναι ίδια αλλά δεν είναι, και ξέρετε τι σιχαίνομαι περισσότερο; Τις υποσχέσεις, γιατί όταν είσαι τόσο καλός στο να κρατάς τις δικές σου μοιάζει πράγμα απίστευτο, εξωφρενικό όταν ο κόσμος που αγαπάς, που προσεκτικά έχεις επιλέξει να είναι δίπλα σου, δεν κάνει το ίδιο. Όταν ο άλλος είναι μακριά αλλάζει και δεν μπορείς να κάνεις τίποτα για να το σταματήσεις. Ούτε καν για να το επιβραδύνεις. Αν γκρινιάξεις, αν επιμένεις, θα τον σπρώξεις να αλλάξει, να φύγει πιο μακριά ακόμα. Αν υπομένεις σιωπηλά τότε το δικό σου φθάρσιμο θα είναι τοσο βαθύ που θα φύγεις εσύ στο τέλος. Το πρόβλημα είναι αγεφύρωτο.

Το φανταστικό είναι πόσο γρήγορα μπορεί να γίνουν όλα. Όταν ο άλλος δε βλέπει το προσωπό σου συχνά πια είναι τόσο εύκολο να ξεχάσει, λόγια, αναμνήσεις, υποσχέσεις, σχέδια, και όταν ξέρει οτι είσαι πάντα εκεί δεν θα χάσει καμία ευκαρία να σε δοκιμάσει, γιατί όλοι θέλουν να τα έχουν όλα…Δεν έχει σημασία πόσο αγάπη υπάρχει, ωχ σορυ, υπήρχε, ένα αεροπλάνο, και κυρίως μια καινούργια ζωή, μπορεί να διαγράψει πολλά πράγματα. Δεν ξέρω τελικά αν υπάρχει αυτό που βλέπουμε στις ταινίες που ο έρωτας είναι τόσο μεγάλος που τα υπερνικά όλα και ο τύπος (ή τύπισα για να μην αδικώ κανέναν) τα παρατάει όλα και βάζει πάνω απο όλα τον έρωτα του, εμένα μου φαίνονται σαχλαμάρες, και μου τη σπάει που αυτή η ζωή πρέπει όλα να τα γειώνει, την αγάπη τη χαρά, όλα. Σου δίνει μια καλή γεμάτη γεύση απο κάτι δυνατό και μετά σταδιακά στο παίρνει πίσω και σου πετάει και ένα ποτήρι νερό στη μούρη, έτσι για να ξυπνήσεις λίγο.

Δεν υπάρχουν παραμύθια και τα μεγάλα λόγια ξεθωριάζουν γρήγορα. Έτσι έγινε και με μένα, και τώρα κάθομαι ακόμα στην καρέκλα του γραφείου μου, ακόμα μυρίζει βροχή, και κάποιος ακούει το Caruso, του Lucio Dalla (Te voglio bene assai) πολύ δυνατά και αντιχεί σε όλη την άδεια γειτονιά και σκέφτομαι και εγώ πόσο άδεια είμαι και ταιριάζω με τη γειτονιά και τα δέντρα που κουνιούνται ελάχιστα απο τον καλοκαιρινό αέρα. Έτσι και εγώ, ελάχιστα κουνιέμαι, δεν θέλω, όσο πιο πολύ κουνιέμαι τόσο πιο πολύ κόσμο βλέπω και τόσο πιο πολύ καταλαβαίνω πως ο καθένας είναι για τον εαυτό του και δεν θέλει να επηρεάζεται απο αλλονών προβλήματα, ακόμα και αν έχει πει οτι θα είναι πάντα εκεί.

Δεν υπάρχει το ΠΑΝΤΑ. Ούτε το ΠΟΤΕ.