Sometimes, for some people, under certain circumstances some “life folds” aka blind folds of life, are automatically enabled, keeping them from clearly see what they ought to.
They feel empty often, they are not satisfied with what and who is around them, they look for reasons to be upset about as if nothing is good enough for them. Those people might seem bitter, bitchy or even miserable but that’s not the whole story. All they need is a little reminder.
They need to be reminded that their hands are not tied and that they can take that f-ing “life fold” off anytime they want. It’s not that they take people for granted, once they are reminded that what they have is not something they should consider unimportant or else they might lose it they are very much willing to take that blind fold off.
And that’s when they wake up.
Days like today, days that are not even that special, days containing a lot of studying and a lot of alone time make me realise how happy I am and that I shouldn’t let any superficial emptiness, caused by the natural response of human beings to always seek for more, forget of what I have. When you find that person who will see you doubting the world and sticks with you anyway though, that’s a keeper, that’s when you fall for him so hard that you just gotta shake everything away and take all the love in. From the simplest to the most complex. Waking up together and drinking coffee in your pyjamas, but also going on a nice trip abroad. Make plans, it’s fine, it’s not as scary as they say. I have him, and I am as happy as ever.
I also have a cat. She is still small, around 4 months. She is white and her name is Alaska. I love her to death and she is one more of those little things that make you appreciate everyday miracles. Those silly things she gets scared of and her kick ass reactions but also the times when I am tired and I leave her alone while I drop dead on my bed, but she comes, slowly approaching, climbs up and sits on my lap while purring and looking me in the eyes; then we sleep together.
I have two baby brothers who have unconditional love to give and they are so funny while they are trying to walk and talk. I just spent a week downloading every animated movie ever made, greek dubbed, for them and I enjoyed doing it because I could imagine them sitting on the couch and watching with their eyes wide opened. Taking a little edge off my dad and stepmom who are the coolest people on the planet and they must be magicians otherwise I don’t understand how they fit two babies and a german shepherd along with clothes for a month, in one car when they go to our summer house.
Finally, my mom makes me smile, because she screams and yells and blames me for everything because she wants to make me better and because she trusts me and because she lives me and breaths me. She probably wants to punch me sometimes and she might never fully know me but she is always there and she is also there for everyone that I truly love.
It’s okay to be sad, I am sad sometimes but all I need is his hug, my cat’s purr, my brothers’ laugh, some whiskey with my dad and stepmom, and my mom’s support to bring that smile up again.
Never take your people for granted because if you just read what I wrote then you must understand how deeply, with no return, dependent your happiness is on them. It’s wrong what they say that your happiness shouldn’t depend on others because it’s not the person per se you are dependent on, just the satisfaction of being able to give and take the necessary things in order to feel a complete person.
For C, you make my life a little bit better each day that passes.