It’s not Easy

After my small (relatively) but big enough for me experience in relationships I can confirm the quote “nobody said it was going to be easy”. I’ve been hearing a lot lately from friends and relatives about their “small” little complains concerning their relationships and I am tired of social conventions saying that I have to sugarcoat it for them.

YES, if you run all day helping your boyfriend/fiancé/husband with his problems/work, proving to him everyday how important he is and how you would do anything for him and you are completely understanding about him having to change the plans you had together because he has something serious to do in regards to his family/boss, which means he ignores your calls and texts for hours and then at night he says he is going to discuss a bit more about what troubles him but you find out he went to the movies with his best buddy and lied to you about it…then I’m truly sorry but YES, perhaps you’re not in his mind as much as he is in yours.

First of all I would like to apologise in advance for using “he” throughout my article and not “she” or “he/she”, but being a woman makes it hard to write while having in perspective both sexes when talking about partners and relationships.

Indeed nobody said it was going to be easy. In fact, people repeatedly said that it was going to be hard; but just because people talk it doesn’t mean you always believe them. When we fall in love the world is viewed through a huge pair of pink sunglasses and even when they break the love you have for that person doesn’t allow you to consider him capable of the same things as other people, consequently when he does them it’s not always that hard to forgive and forget. Your partner is the one who is never supposed to hurt you right? Never supposed to lie to you, always be there for you. Well guess again, he is going to lie and he is going to hurt you and make you cry. Just accept the fact that you and him do not share the same mind. For instance, just because you would never think of lying to him in order to go somewhere with his best buddy, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t. I’d love to give you an explanation like “Hey everyone has a different way of expressing their love”, but i strongly believe there is no equal distribution of emotions in a relationship. There is always going to be a person who gives more; but up to what point someone can forgive and forget?

Just because your partner didn’t cheat on you doesn’t mean that mistakes on a daily basis, even lies sometimes are unimportant acts and not hurtful. It does hurt and every little kick on that staircase of trust bends it a little bit more until it’s knocked down, and then the damage would be permanent.

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4 thoughts on “It’s not Easy

  1. I love this! Great post. I’ve been through typical ups and downs in relationships. I understand the flaws and the realities. At this point in time though, I do believe my partner cares just as much for me as I do him. Does that make me naive-especially knowing what I know about relationships? Maybe I’m just a “hopeless” romantic?

    1. Thank you for your kind words!
      First of all, like you said ups and downs are usual during a relationship but what is important is to have the capacity to distinguish whether it is just ups and downs you are going through (which is absolutely normal) or you are just unhappy.
      It is very possible for your partner to care about you as much as you do, in fact why not? Most people have a different way of expressing their emotions to each other. It doesn’t make you naive believing that your partner cares just as much; it would make you naive thinking that if you felt non stop that you are giving but not receiving throughout your relationship.
      Other than that, if the reciprocity is satisfactory and you feel fulfilled by your partner there is no need to worry.

      P.S. I am a hopeless romantic too, nothing wrong with that 😉

      1. Wow, you couldn’t have said that any better! I’ve grown exhausted as far as dating goes so I’m really trying to be careful about setting the tone and making sure I’m with someone I’d stop time for-not with someone to just pass the time.

  2. Exactly, but unfortunately (at least in my point of view) it is extremely hard to put all of your eggs in one basket. Not that I want any other baskets right now in my current relationship haha. I love my basket, it is an amazing basket, I am just trying to say that being scared is normal even when you trust your partner blindly.

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