I am simply translating the article of the Greek site LIFO because it made a huge impression to me.
“I made #instanadine in order to meet her”
“I would like you to dedicate a few minutes to read my story” said the man who signs as “The good mickey”. He is 22 years old and recently he played it all for love. Some would think this is very romantic while others would consider him an annoying stalker. Here is his story.
One week and 2 ays after my experience, I decided to share it with you. Don’t ask me why. I just have the need to share it with someone other than friends. It is a love story that i lived now, at my 22 years of age and I don’t think I will easily relive something similar so please even if it seems boring to you understand that is a soul experience and forgive me.
Nadine (name that comes from Konstantina in Greek) was my girlfriend for 2 months. Don’t rush into conclusions about the amount of time. It was the most intense and strong thing I have ever lived until today. We broke up in January because of me. Yes! This stupid strength that while you are great it pushes you to do everything to ruin your situation. That strength stroke me. So we broke up and Nadine left, she went to Lille of France with the Erasmus program.
From the day we broke up i sent her more than 100 sms and viber messages in which she didn’t respond even though I knew she had seen them because of the “seen”. Every unanswered message was equal to a strong dose of outburst for me for all of what i ruined. All the amazing moments that I erased, all the night hugs that I threw away and all of the first kisses that I blanked.
My last message said “I thought of what i want and what is worth fighting for in my life. I am gonna risk it. I booked tickets for Lille. Thursday at 9.30 am I will be there until 3 pm. I don’t have somewhere else to go nor mood for sightseeing. I also don’t elect you to show. I own this trip to everything I felt and more to everything I ruined.”
I didn’t text her anything else. It was enough. And that is short of how I got ready for my trip in Lille. She didn’t respond in my message. I didn’t expect her to but I had told my self this wouldn’t influence me. Really I didn’t care. The main reason for this trip was my need to fix the mistake that I have made. Second reason was her hug and her eyes. You know, Nadine has amazing eyes.
Two reasons therefore are more than enough to go after something you dream of. Because I, this meeting more than few times I;ve dreamt of.
The tickets were booked and the only thing left was for me to board. Nadine, of course tried to prevent this trip. She uploaded pictures in Instagram. Pictures of Paris to show me that she was there but I knew that she would be back in Lille by the day I was there.
Also, few minutes after the message informing her about my upcoming trip she uploaded a picture in instagram with another guy. This was my smaller concern, she could be with someone else and having a great time. I didn’t care, I, to start with, wanted to apologise to her. I didn’t expect her to accept me back in her life. Just to meet her and tell her I’m sorry.
So, she tired indirectly to tell me “don’t come” but I didn’t listen to her. If she would’t straightforwardly tell me with a message i wouldn’t listen to her. The more she tried to prevent me with pictures i would still stick to my belief that I would see her in Grand’Place at Thursday morning. I was so bold that i actually read this silence as something positive, “She didn’t ask me not to come so deep down she wants me to do this trip” i thought.
So, Thursday had arrived. The trip was a little tiring for the simple reason that last night I haven’t slept at all. I put on her favourite shirt and I was ready to go. I had in screenshots in my phone the maps that would lead me to Grand’Place. I arrived there at 9:30, just like i have promised. I used to be late at our dates but I was right on time for this one. One who really wants to is never late at dates.
I took a picture of the statue there at Grand’place of Lille and i sent it to her through viber saying: “I don’t know if you care even a little but I am under this.”
My message was “Seen”…Now I only had to wait. The first half hour went by very fast. I didn’t even realise it. I was looking at the beautiful square. My mind was rolling like crazy and I was very happy that I was gonna see Nadine! I felt like a wild horse running around inside of me. My thoughts were interrupted by 2 girls from a Dutch school, they were doing a research about Lille. I told them my story and they were amazed. They thought I was romantic and they wished for me to see Nadine. They asked me questions about the city.
-Were you born here?
-No, in Thessaloniki (Greek city)
-Do you like Lille?
-I haven’t seen it, from what i see here I like it.
-What is the most beautiful thing about Lille?
-Nadine’s eyes. (They laughed)
We took a souvenir picture and they left. I kept walking around in an effort to cover more surface with my steps so that Nadine would have stepped where I did. Silly things, without any meaning but I didn’t have anything important to do. An hour was gone already. I was cold and I thought of going to a cafe across the street, to seat next to the window and look at the square to check if she is going to show up. I went there, i ordered some donuts an i sat on the window. There wasn’t 5 minutes already and I saw her hair. I left my stuff on the table and without really thinking about it I rushed to the statue. It wasn’t her, she didn’t even look like her. I went back to the cafe and in five minutes I was out again to stare at another girl that reminded me of her. No point. I had such a big need to see her that i was crating idols and hopes that I was chasing.
Anyway, the time was 12. The square was full of people. It was so weird that it was so full but it seemed empty to me. There was 1000 people and the one I wanted to see wasn’t there. I started to accept the idea that she wasn’t going to show up. Maybe it was a given fact from the start but I thought it was impossible. As impossible it seems not seeing her again anytime soon.
The time was 1…2. Many steps, much walking. “Nadine surely is going to step where I did” i thought. With mixed feelings I took the way home, but I wouldn’t leave like that. I got an idea. An idea to leave something at this space, to have proof that I’ve been here. I went to the bookstore. I bought a marker, a card, a ducting tape and a teddy bear. I did this and I stuck it to the squares’ statue.
I took a picture and sent it to her. Leaving Grand’Place, I stood in a corner for a few minutes and I saw people looking at it and taking pictures. One week after I am counting more than 2 uploads from unknown users with the has tag #instanadine!
I left happy that I chased my dream and bitter that I didn’t touch it. I wasn’t sad. No dream hunter can be sad because maybe its a cliche but when you are chasing your dream, what is important is the trip.
The old Lille, the coffee at the square, the girls from Holland, the marker, the steps around and all of that with the feeling of waiting to see Nadine will be remembered for years to remind me one of the most sweet and bitter at the same time stories of my life.
What is left one week after to eat me up inside is that for a few hours we were so close, without meeting. Maybe next time…
My opinion about this
This is going to be a long post but anyway here it goes…I just wanted to say that the guy went out and proclaimed that everything was his fault and that they had something very strong despite the short time they were together. I think if he was lying about the intensity of the relationship Nadine would have came out and said something like “this guy is paranoid and i never loved him.”
Now, i dont know what he did to her but whatever he did she could easily reply to him “Dude stop texting me.” or “Mickey don’t come here I don’t wanna see you” but instead she said nothing, did nothing…I study psychology so i can bet all my money that she was (and still is) enjoying all of the attention from him, since she didn’t even text him “leave, i am not coming to see you” not even when he was already there. Her behaviour is not of an angry person, is of a selfish person, and if there is one thing that i disagree with Mikey is that she deserved this trip, or a second one.
What i see in this story is that all of us humans talk about how actions are important, more than words are, all of us crave for BIG gestures, and when someone finally goes ahead and does them we will find something negative to say, because humans are afraid of what they want. I don’t know what you all believe but I think the world would be a much better place with more people like him and less people like her, I admire him because he is an example that it’s fucking okay to show what you’re feeling, to do something crazy, to take a risk, and also for being an example that whatever goes wrong in your life you shouldn’t stop believing in love or go seeking for revenge.
Personally, no matter how much someone hurt me, even if I didn’t love him as much as he did, even if I didn’t have a care in the world about him, if he did this for me I would take the time to go and talk to him and explain the situation or at least send a text explaining the reasons I didn’t want to meet him…But that’s just me…Thank you for reading this.